Have you ever given your absolute best and it still wasn’t enough?!
That happened to me on Monday…
Fresh from a weekend down the coast with my girls and some close friends I managed to make it into the gym on Monday afternoon to re-do CrossFit Open workout 17.3
Just so you understand it wasn’t an ego thing (or was it? – I guess we’ll get to that later) it’s actually part of my programming – eg. I have to do each Open workout twice. Once on Friday, after the announcement and then once again, the following Monday.
The good news is that each time I’ve re-done a workout, I’ve managed to best my original score by a few reps and make it worth the 2nd attempt
Just in case you didn’t know, 17.3 was a workout with progressively heavier snatches and increasing chest to bar pull-ups.
I absolutely loved the format and standards for this WOD: Decreasing reps but increasing loads on the snatches and increasing reps on the C2B pull-ups with time constraints and bonuses enabling you to move onto the next round in 4 minute increments -> To do well at 17.3, you really had to EARN IT
On my first attempt, I managed 104 reps (4 x 83kg snatches short of qualifying for another 4 minutes at the 12 minute mark)
I’d have to say that I was a little disappointed but was pretty sure that if I pushed the pace I might be able to get myself into the fourth round to get some easy reps on the pull-ups and have a shot at one or more snatches @ 102kg
While I probably should have been relaxing down the coast I’d spent 2 sleepless nights visualising, scheming and strategising ways to make it to the 4th round and on Monday, I came to the gym with a plan…
And I stuck to that plan…
I ran faster splits
I moved faster under all my snatches
I broke my pull-ups into smaller sets, sooner
I kept moving, consistently…
and instead of reaching the 12 minute time cap, having just finished my last set of pull-ups in the third round… I found myself with 35 seconds to hit 4 snatches @ 83kg?!
The Last 35 Seconds
I was huffing and puffing, sweat ran down through my eyes and dripped off my chin onto the rubber floor – I was absolutely exhausted
“no time to chalk – just get to the bar!” Becca and Madz were yelling at me
I stumbled over to the bar and gave it an almighty heave…
I pulled under – I thought I had it – but just before I could stand it up – it fell forward – I was devastated
27 seconds to go
I knew that I’d have to be even faster and my catch, flawless to nail the next rep
I heaved again – under – wait – success – I stood up – yew!
19 seconds to go
I heaved a third time – success – “shit, it felt like I was snatching 100kg” – I got under it – I stood it up – but barely…
12 seconds to go
I gave everything I had – I heaved – under – success – I stood it up – “F&*K Yeah!”
5 seconds to go
and I was done – I had nothing left. absolutely nothing. no last attempt. nothing.
To come so close – but miss out by one bloody rep?!!!!
Just one rep stood between me and another 4 minutes and a chance for GLORY?!
My mind ran in circles but I let the negative self talk get the better of me…
5 seconds left – could I have done it?
I don’t think so?
But maybe I could have?
I was so angry with myself.
I must have sworn for a good 10 minutes afterwards
“just one f%&king rep?!”
Damn it stung – It made my whole body ache and the more I thought about it, the more it hurt both my head and my heart – I may have even shed a tear or two (but there was also a lot of sweat in my eyes so it’s hard to say…)
“THIS TOO SHALL PASS”
I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes you give it your all but it’s not quite enough
Your effort was enough. YOU were enough. But at the buzzer, things just didn’t pan out the way you’d hoped
Perhaps you’ve done that…
– In a workout
– In a job interview
– In a relationship
To come so close but be denied just before the finish line
it stings – shit it stings – I know it does
“THIS TOO SHALL PASS”
On Monday, I had to repeat this mantra a good 10x before it finally started to sink in…
The simple fact is that all the hurt, the pain, the stinging -> does eventually go away – it doesn’t last – nothing does – both joy and pain (Go do a Google search for ‘impermanent’)
“THIS TOO SHALL PASS”
While Monday’s experience stung, it made me more self aware and helped me to identify the movement/s that I need to work on over the coming 12 months to do better at next year’s Open
My self worth and value isn’t determined by my failures or my successes – and this is something that I’m still coming to terms with
I hope you get something out of my story – leave a comment below if you did 😉
Coach & Owner